As if I could get any more excited about our event at the studio tomorrow night! On top of our clothing swap and pop up shop we will be featuring the lingerie shown in these press pictures for our dear friend Mistress Couple’s new book “The Ultimate Guide to Bondage”
With the rising fame of 50 Shades, those of us outside of the kink community have been wanting to dip our vanilla toes into learning more about the world of bondage. One of the amazing things I have learned just from being friends with this amazing author, aside from how terrible 50 Shades is becasue it lacks consent completely, is that restraint really is the ultimate release. This can comes in more ways than just sexually. The power that I feel when I am able to delete a paragraph I just wrote out in anger about my feelings to a simple, concise and “restrained” thought is one of the biggest and most powerful tools I have gained in 2018.
I was always a person that required being heard, when sometimes being heard doesn’t actually make things better. Learning when I need to explain myself and when I don’t owe someone an explanation has been one way I have started to integrate the concept of restraint into my own existence….and boy has it been life changing for me. Who would figure that learning to hold back would be the ultimate form of letting go?
The styling for this set is featuring Lingerie from our newest collection for The Shops at The Loft.
Now let’s move on and start to talk about tomorrow night’s event!
One of the main things that Randi and I have been trying to do as we pull together our most recent collection is to make lingerie and the concept of lingerie more wearable as outterwear. We have chosen looks that would be both amazing for sessions and to wear out with skirts and jeans or even just on their own!
We have also added in sweaters to our collection for those winter “Cozy Sweater Sessions”, Gowns for those who want a red carpet glam look, and cute as pie Pajamas. This seasons collection is especially catered to our plus babes! We really have you covered this time around!
Oh and those who always ask about my Peplum tops? We have amazing badass ones that can go from a session look to being worn over jeans!
I hope to see everyone there tomorrow at 6pm at 177 River Street!
Now read below to hear from Mistress herself!
“How many times in your life have you been told that “beauty is pain?” Women have been socialized to hurt ourselves in order to adhere to cultural standards of beauty for hundreds of years. From foot binding to corsetry, and even jewelry, we have learned to shape shift our bodies through applications of bondage. Physical bondage isn’t the only type of bondage in the fashion industry – the most harmful kind of bondage, I think, is the mental bondage that we put ourselves in in response to unattainably photoshopped magazine images. Too many women that I know incarcerate themselves in mental prisons, telling themselves that they’re “too this” or “not enough that.”
This is why I love to work with Lindsay. Her body positivity and the way she influences others with it is incredibly inspiring to me. I love reading through her Facebook group, and seeing how having an experience with Lindsay, being seen through the eyes of another woman rather than the male gaze, is liberating for so many people. Being able to take control of your body, your sensuality, and even sexuality is essential for female empowerment. I think this is why so many women are initially confused by BDSM (Bondage Dominance Submission Masochism). Seeing images of women who are tied up often evokes helplessness, not strength. It’s kind of counterintuitive, but despite how it appears, choosing to engage in bondage can be a step in the direction of taking control of your body. The key word here is “choosing.”
Consent is a big topic of discussion these days:
We don’t have the choice to avoid being bombarded by unattainably photoshopped images.
We do have the choice to entrust ourselves to a photographer who can make us feel like the women in those images by highlighting our natural beauty.
We don’t have the choice to avoid being sexually harassed or assaulted.
We do have the choice of giving control of our body to someone we trust to care for it in respectful intimate ways.
Just as having a photoshoot with Lindsay has been so healing for so many of you, engaging in bondage is incredibly healing for me and many of my clients. In fact, there are many things in common. Just like Lindsay’s photoshoots, bondage sessions always involve twisting and posing the body in strenuous positions. I wonder which I’d be more sore from…? But the pain always pays off because in the end the images are beautiful, or in the case of bondage sessions, the state of mind that I reach when I don’t have to worry about being in control of anything, THAT’S beautiful.
This is why I recently wrote “The Ultimate Guide to Bondage.” I want to spread the gospel about engaging in consensual bondage as a way of self-empowerment and creative expression. One of my biggest missions in this book was inspired by Lindsay and by all of you- to use real people as my models. The publishing company was shocked when I said that I refused to have another skinny White woman in bondage on the book cover- “but that means you won’t be on it!” they said. Good. I was fine with that. I gathered friends of mine, people of all ethnicities, ages, and genders to be the models, and the results have been incredibly inspiring. I’ve received countless comments from people about how refreshing it is to see bodies that look like theirs represented. This book is meant to show that bondage can be for everyone, it’s all about self-love, and that’s why Lindsay and I get along so well.
In this shoot, Lindsay and I wanted to show the empowerment one can experience through choosing to use bondage. Even though fashion bondage elements such as corsets, ballet boots, harnesses, collars…etc are by no means comfortable, they do provide a sense of structure, and can even be reimagined as armor. They can also be used to assume power by flipping the script. Rather than succumbing to it, appealing to the male gaze makes it easier to control them in sexual situations. Take it from a Dominatrix, when I wear a corset or stiletto shoes, men are intimidated and turned on, and they listen (for the most part! lol). I’m sure you’ve noticed this too. So take hold of the reins (or the leash!) and incorporate some fashion bondage elements into your wardrobe. See what it does for your sex life! And please report back with all the juicy details…
Most perverted wishes,
The Ultimate Guide to Bondage can be purchased here: https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Bondage-Mistress-Couple/dp/1627782745
Bondage Demo and Book Release in Troy December 19:
Styling by Randi Poillon
Makeup and Photography by Me <3