I Have Always Been A Heavier Girl – Saratoga Springs | Albany | Troy | New York – Boudoir

Sometimes clients will send us words for their blogs and they will have such a deep impact on me.  This was one that really really struck me in my core.

I too have always been a heavier girl…but it was never boys who affected me when I was younger, though they bullied me verbally and physically too…it was my father.

He was a body builder and made it perfectly clear that “you could be so pretty if you just lost some weight” and “Imagine how pretty you would be if you lost that extra 20lbs.”  It took me until I was almost 28 years old and has been moved out of the state he lived in for nearly 10 years to FINALLY realize that he was wrong.  That I am beautiful and not in spite of my curves, but because of them.  Because despite having a condition that makes it hard to lose weight I go throughout my life proud of who I am, that I silently suffer in pain every day while still keeping a smile on my face, that I inspire people, that my eyes are beautiful and my hips are curvaceous and that I am worthy of the admiration of my husband…but most importantly the admiration of myself.

Sometimes it takes us years to figure out we are worthy, and sometimes it only takes a day and a Self Love Experience.

Read below to see how this babes experience impacted her!

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“I’m honestly not even sure where to begin, I guess let’s start at the beginning… I’ve always been a heavier girl and I can remember as a teen being interested in a boy and finally working up the courage to go talk to him and he said “I’d date you if you weren’t fat” those words that took less than 5 seconds to speak stuck with me for a LONG TIME. I began having a very unhealthy relationship with food and my body because I just wanted to be loved and I was so convinced that in order to feel that love I needed to be smaller but nothing worked fad diets, exercise, I even developed an eating disorder. Then when I was in my 20s I decided that I was done hating myself, I was now the mother of three little girls and I wanted to show them how to love themselves but if I’m being honest I didn’t know how because I’d spent too long hating myself. I decided that I was going to learn to love myself so I started leaving little post it notes all over my apartment that said things like “girl you need to smile that frown doesn’t look good on you” and “being perfect is overrated how about you try just being you” and slowly but surely I really started embracing who I was inside and out. Believe me when I tell you it didn’t happen over night by any means and I’m still a work in progress. But anyway one day I was scrolling Facebook and Lindsay’s page came up so I decided to check it out and see what this whole “self love experience” was all about and omg I loved everything about it but I was hung up on my size and I could hear that boy from the 10th grade all over again… you’re just not pretty enough. So I decided to sleep on it and talked to a couple friends that I knew had worked with Lindsay and they couldn’t have recommended her more so I decided to reach out to her and book a sitting… but now the real anxiety set in what am I going to wear?! I tried on countless sets and other lingerie only to be incredibly disappointed, finally admitting defeat I reached out to Lindsay and she set me up with Randi and we got together for a styling session. The day arrived and I walked in to the loft already defeated I mean what could she possibly have to show me that I haven’t already tried but OMG what she had pulled for me spoke to my edgy sense of style and looked AMAZING, I left feeling so sexy and for the first time totally ready for my date with Lindsay. That day came and from the moment I arrived to the moment I got back in my car I felt so comfortable and like I was hanging out with a trusted friend, I left that day feeling better about myself than I have ever felt before and that is a feeling that sticks with me now months later. I can honestly never thank Lindsay, Erin and Randi enough for helping me to find that side of myself that for so long I didn’t think existed.” ~ Mrs. L

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How incredibly beautiful is this babe with her art?!?!

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Hair and Makeup by Erin Marie Artistry
All Lingerie from The Shops at The Loft via a personal styling add-on with Randi Poillon

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