`Boudoir New York - Self Love Experience - Albany - Saratoga Springs - Troy_0580

I Am Not Perfect

2018 has been one of the most wonderfully insane years of my life.  I can barely capture in words the transformation that has taken place for me this year both on a personal and professional level. This year has taught me that being a “flawed” individual is part of what makes me so special as a person.  Knowing my own weaknesses as a professional, parent and person in general has been the biggest power play I could have imagined.  There is strength in learning to understand my dynamic personality.

I am not all “Boss babe” sometimes I am weak and sometimes I am scared to death of the big risks I know I needed to take to get the things I want…but it is knowing this about myself that gives me the strength to continue to fight for everything in my world.  Knowing my weakness is part of my own strength. I am more than what you see on the surface and on social media.  I am a mother who sometimes struggles to help her child navigate her newly forming emotions.  I am a business woman who is terrified to share her business but knows in her gut that she picked the right people to share it with.  I am a wife who sometimes gets too angry too fast and has had to learn to slow down and apologize when she is wrong.  I am a woman with stretch marks, and scars from surgeries, and a little too much weight in her tummy.  It is every one of these “flaws” that makes me the person that I am.  It is embracing all of this that has given me the power that I have to help other women.

I am beyond grateful for all of the #LRPBoudieBeauties who have trusted me so far and all of those who continue to trust me and Randi for the incredibly flawed and real women that we are.

I feel like I really don’t need to say more than what today’s babe has said below, except thank you to all of you! What a better blog to round out the end of a year than this incredible woman who has turned from client to muse to friend.  Read about her experience here:

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“I’ve sat here for a few days trying to think of the perfect way to describe my self love experience, but it just dawned on me that “perfect” is not the word to use to describe it…

I have done modeling throughout my young teen years up to now (I am 26). I am used to and comfortable being in front of a camera, but even with all the make up and the clothes- I never felt “perfect” and I would always find something to nit pick about. “My lips are too small”, “my boobs are too small”, “my stomach looks weird from that angle”, “shes way prettier than me…” you get the point. We all do it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a size xxs or xxl. We are all guilty of trying to fit this perfect mold that society has cut for us. Why do women have such an obsession with trying to fit this mold? I’m still trying to figure this out myself.

Looks are something that are so magnified today. Everyone is so focused on what you look like on the outside, and not what you look like on the inside. I’ve shot with many photographers- all of them complimented me on my looks (and I’m not saying this to brag about my looks- lets get that straight!!). I can’t even think of how many photographers have actually made me BELIEVE I am pretty.

Then I found Lindsay, and damn is she a breath of fresh air. Just take a look at Lindsays instagram feed, or read her blogs- you see women with grey hair, women with stretch marks, women with small boobs, big boobs, and all different ethnicities. They all look absolutely flawless, and they all radiate the same energy- POWER, CONFIDENCE, STRENGTH. She doesn’t care if you’re not “perfect”… She doesn’t have a “perfect” mold she’s looking for. What she looks for is to bring out the most fierce, confident, and powerful side of you. It takes a special person to see these traits in so many women that get behind her lens. What I felt during my self love experience was not like any feeling I’ve had behind a camera. I felt acknowledged for what was on the inside, which would in return show on camera.

No amount of photoshop, make up, or airbrushing can create this. Someone has to bring that out of you, because those things are not always easy to bring out. One of my least favorite thing I hear from people is “why are you a nurse? you should just quit your job and be a model!!”…. Maybe for some women, this would be flattering. It is “flattering” and I am humbled in a way when people say this to me, but on the same token- it makes me furious on the inside. Why? Because I, along with other women, are so much more than their looks. I am educated, I am humble, I am caring and empathetic- those things are what make me beautiful in my eyes and Linsday saw this.

I left my self love experience feeling like I was actually seen for who I am as a whole package, and I tried so hard to put that into words in this blog. I am so blessed to have met Lindsay and Erin. The whole LRP community is a true representation of how women should treat each other and how women are more than just looks. We are not perfect, nobody is. But we have traits within us that make us our own version of perfect and you can see that in every photo of every women Lindsay shares and I absolutely love her for that.” ~ Mrs. S

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Hair and Makeup by Erin Marie Artistry